CAS Confessions
5203
I think graduate na ako guys!🥹
After three years of secretly liking him, I think something in me has finally shifted💚🖤
I don’t get that little cloud-9 feeling anymore whenever he likes my posts. I’ve stopped stealing glances when he’s in close proximity. He hasn’t crossed my mind for an entire week, which is unusual because he daily invades my mind thinking for his whereabouts and wondering if he's doing okay. I don’t crave for his attention anymore. I don’t get nervous when he looks at me anymore. I no longer have that feeling of wanting to reach for his hand everytime he runs out of our room at the end of our class. I no longer careee.
All because of that one piece of information that was enough to snap an entire fantasy back down to reality. I still don’t know for sure if the girl they teased him about during our OJT was actually the girl he liked. Maybe she was. Maybe she wasn’t...but I remember him doing nothing hearing the teasing of his friends, and realizing that he never denied it or looked around for me. Maybe that was all the answer I needed. The answer I for so long seek.
Because the painful truth is...he probably never saw me the way I saw him.
Maybe he never noticed the stolen glances. Maybe he never knew how much meaning I gave to his smallest kindest gestures. Maybe every like, every conversation, every little moment that I quietly held onto meant nothing more to him than what they were. It was all ordinary moments between friends who had the same likes.
Pero strangely enough guys, I’m not hurt about it... I’m relieved?
Kasi for three years, I was holding onto our secret moments. Moments that were so dear to me I felt like I was living in a K-drama whenever he does something so SO unexpected for me, that would make me question, does he even do this to his circle of friends or is it just me?
I was afraid of rejection, but I was also afraid of letting go.
And now, somehow, I have the courage to write this because I’ve been given a reason to stop waiting for something that was probably never coming (I hope kayo rin for all the yearners out there).
So maybe our shared smiles and laughters were really just us being casual. He never might've seen me as a lady. Just a friend whom he shares nerdy stuffs about🤍🖤
It hurts a little to admit that he never really chose me. Sa dami kong nagawa hindi ko talaga matibag puso mo? KIMI AHAHA. But it hurts even more to realize how long I was waiting to be seen by someone who was never looking.
And maybe that's what finally sets me free.
If he had asked me back then, I probably would have risked everything. I would have taken the chance, even with all my fears, because that’s how much I liked him. Siya na yan eh. But I also don't want to become his distraction. He is an academic achiever, a consistent Dean's lister, and I don't want to be a barrier to his goals. I don't want him to lose his focus, so I kept my feelings hidden.
So no, guys...I don’t think I’m heartbroken.
I think I’m finally done.
Done wondering. Done hoping. Done looking for signs that were never really there.
For the first time in three years, there’s space in my heart for someone else because of the acceptance that I deserve to be with someone who sees me, chooses me, and makes it clear if they really want me there.
Maybe God has finally answered my prayer of removing my feelings for him. Maybe he was just a lesson that sometimes, even things that has a chance to begin can still come to an end.
And honestly?
I think I’m ready to find someone new to admire.
Someone new to be comfortable with, to be safe with. Someone who doesn't leave me wondering if I was ever noticed at all. Someone I could like without the fear of being left behind.
Today's convocation really hit me (08/11/26). It was mentioned that the rejection of people doesn't cancel the love of God for you, and perhaps that’s what I needed to remember, that being unseen by someone doesn’t mean I am not worth being loved. Some endings hurt, but maybe this one is simply God reminding I was just looking for love in a place where it was never meant to begin.
I'm sorry for falling for you and for letting go, and I wish your heart to be filled with what you really do crave for.
-🐾
Submitted: August 11, 2026 9:34:16 PM PST
發表於: Aug. 13, 2026, 3:05 a.m.