Rowbridge Reborn

#RowbridgeReborn12285 In the absence of Boats Behaving Badly… may we present CREWS CAREENING CHAOTICALLY: LENTS 26’ ANALYSIS! The weather may have been delectable, but it seems that some coxes, and coaches, choice of words was less so… Indeed, so dazed were the umpires by the flabbergasting happenings on the towpath that they accidentally shot their notes on when to have re-rows out of a cannon. Oho well, no controversy at all occurred from that. Or from anything else this lent. Mother nature also seems to have been bribed (by caius? probably) into being nice. I'm sure this implies that this mays will take place in snowy conditions. Lets get into the numbers! {{{{TOTAL FINES:}}}}} A total of £4430 was donated to CUBC this year. A little down from the £5215 of last year, but still a strong performance by several crews. Gender gap: Yeah, this one is rough. Men's crews accrued 58.5% of all fines to Women's £38% (remainder had no gender, mainly due to late / incomptent marshall). Ah well. CREW LEADERBOARDS 1st Place : CAIUS O1 (£390): Claiming headship of both the fines leaderboard and the river (with the former being the far more prestigious) in one fell swoop, this was truly a masterful play from Caius. Having held it up to early on the first day, they set out to make sure that Maggie really knew they had been bumped and earned themselves the first and only £100 ‘unsportsmanlike conduct’ fine. A* for effort. D- for humility. 2nd Place: TIT HALL W1 (£250): Failing to claim headship of the river on the final day, they deployed their signature “The umpires wont notice if our bankparty is just massive rightttttt” move. Sadly for them, their efforts failed also to claim headship of the fines table aswell. Ah well, 2nd place is something at least. Joint 3rd Place (£225): LMBC O2: Yep. Not their O1. Their O2. Boys. What the heck, how have you done this. AND Downing O1: An impressive effort, both on the river and on the fines chart from Cambridge’s freshest M1 – getting bumped fairly quickly each day leaving plenty of time for questionably language post race. Genuinely, nice effort though on the rowing. The rest of the top 10 was as follows: Kings O1 (£175), Hughes W1 (£155), LMBC O1 (£150), Eddies O1 (£135) & Pem W1 (£125). COLLEGE LEADERBOARDS 1st Place : CAIUS (£440). Coming mostly from their headship calming O1, with O2 chipping in 50 for even more foul language. At this point, they should change their name to Gonville O1 in shame. Or Pride. Honestly, I’m sort of out of words for this. 2nd Place: LMBC (£430): Great team cohesion between their O1 and O2 here, joining forces to… just be outdone by Caius again. Familiar feeling eh? Anyways, hopefully this after the fines they have enough left to cover their costs at the bike mechanics 3rd Place: TIT HALL (£350): Our first female-headed team, headed up by the Girlboss bankparty but ably assisted by questionably steering from their O2. Ah well, can’t win them all. In terms of fines per boat instead of total fines, its still Caius and LMBC. BUT! Kings’s lack of crews (only 3 boats?!?) gives them 3rd place with an average £79 per boat! Not kings of the river, but kings of the bullion. Fitting. The rest of the top 10 total fines: Downing £275, Kings £235, Emma £220, Sidney £195, Churchill £195, Hughes £185 & Pem £170. Squeaky Clean: Sad clap to Newhham for not getting fined this letns. Stop being boring, we know you have a freaky side. HOW ABOUT THE BUMPING? Ah yes. The whole point of this sport (apparently). 9 people working together to get their rubber balls up against innocent coxes as quickly as possible. Most bumps per boat: Wolfson: 3.33 Bumps/Boat. So nearly whole club blades, but their O1 sadly went +2. Ah well, the enteral mature college cycle continues: we look forward to (nearly?) whole club spoons in Lents 2027! Pem & Tit Hall: 1.6 Bumps/Boat. The dominant clubs of this terms head races see themselves tied here. Ah well, none of them quite manged to finish the job and blade. Condolences to Tit Hall W1, Pem W1, Pem O2 and Tit Hall O3. Next time, maybe. Least bumps per boat: Clare: -3.75. Yeaouch. Saved by their W2 form whole club spoons, I wonder what the BCD atmosphere was like after this one… Hughes & Magdelene: -2. I mean… its not horrific? Magdelene’s lesser fines might make this sting a little less. AWARDS! The "Conceed? Whats that!" Award goes to Corpus W1, Maggie O2 & O3 for trying a little too hard to get away. Also to Caius W1 for pushing away the bowball of the boat trying to bump them rather than raising their hand! "We like sandwiches": Christs O1 and Pem O3 both decided that bumps is expensive, so best to get their money’s worth! Bumping down to sandwich on the first day then staying there from then on, we are sure they are really grateful they got their money’s worth. Special shoutout to Pem O3 for (allegedly) doing it by crabbing on 3 whistles. Great commitment to training mileage, we look forward to seeing the results in Mays! "Bunged up": Queens O1… dropping your bung on ¾ days! Wow. I’d say 3rd times the charm but the bumps chart says otherwise. "We don’t need a cox anyways": Of course, we cannot ignore the great honour given to Sidney O1, with this lent’s only Cox Ban, on day 1 as well! Grassy claims another victim, though this is an extra rare honour for a 1st boat! "I swear I can swim!": This award goes to Downing W2, who somehow managed to boat without a lifejacket... seriously... like... did they all break? FINES VS PLACES? See the graph. Some… interesting outliers… That’s all. Ill try and be funnier come Mays. Give this novice rowbridger some slack.

#RowbridgeReborn12284 #rowbridgereborn12283 Second?! When was the first time?!

#RowbridgeReborn12283 Rowbridge the Maggie 8 with only two rowers and a cox this afternoon Truly brave

#RowbridgeReborn12282 Fitz 3 seat at horr what’s ur @ 🙏🙏🙏🙏

#RowbridgeReborn12281 Vets’ Head? More like MILF and DILF Head

#RowbridgeReborn12280 Stroke of the CUBC 3V racing at HoRR, where have you been? How haven't I seen you on the CUBC instagram before today?? Is he single???

#RowbridgeReborn12279 Sorry for being late

#RowbridgeReborn12278 Rowbridge to city entering at least 4! None novices into the HORR beginner category

#RowbridgeReborn12277 Judging by the most recent BBB, the author(s) have moved on 😢 The Cam needs a new hero #RowbridgeReborn14279

#RowbridgeReborn12276 #RowbridgeReborn12268 Perhaps bro graduated