UPOU Freedom Wall
#UPOUFreedomWall1110
to the guy from up diliman who once made my heart feel warm,
i know you don't usually lurk around freedom walls, but i hope this post reaches enough people to somehow find its way to you.
i'll try my best to write this in english because i know you're an englishero, and you know filipino has always been my fortee. perhaps there are things i can only say properly in a language that isn't entirely mine..
i won't specify which program in up diliman you're from anymore, but..
you and i were inseparable during those first few weeks. i remember thinking that perhaps knocking on someone's door and finally allowing myself to step inside could feel like safety again. for the longest time, i had been incapable of loving someone without being afraid of what might come after. then you came along, and somehow, i found myself willing to try again.
i remember the little things.
nagtaguan tayo sa uniqlo sa up town center, as if we had nowhere else to be.
magkasabay nating sinuong ang ulan sa sunken garden, just so we could get to wherever we were supposed to go. i remember how ordinary that moment must have seemed to you, but i would give anything to experience it one more time.
binibilhan mo ako ng jolly spaghetti, my favorite, whenever i got upset. sometimes, i knew you were short on money, yet you still found ways to get me some. there was even a time when you could only afford to watch me eat, and i still vividly remember the smile on your face. i wonder if you knew how much that little gesture meant to me.
sa cs lib tayo nagkwentuhan, sharing pieces of ourselves in between the hours we spent there.
sa englib mo ako unang hinalikan sa pisngi, kahit maraming tao sa paligid.
sa katipunan unti-unting namuo ang pagmamahalan nating dalawa.
and to think that something that once felt so certain could end in the blink of an eye.
uy, bakit ganon na lang?
did holding my hand mean nothing to you, even when you weren't out? did those few seconds when you kissed me in the middle of a crowded MRT train mean nothing? because i swear, for those brief moments, the whole world seemed to stop moving. it was as if there was nothing else outside that little space we shared.
did the stolen handholds mean nothing? the secret kisses? those quiet little whispers of "kiss mo ako?" followed by a wink, and your playful "ayaw mo yata eh."
do you really expect me to forget all of that as though none of it ever happened?
how am i supposed to make sense of something that felt so real to me when you seem to have found a way to carry on as though it never existed? ang sakit. sobrang sakit. and what hurts more is that i still cannot understand how something we seemed to be building together could end without me even knowing where it all went wrong.
i keep going back to those days, wondering which moment was the last time you meant everything you said. i wonder when the warmth turned into distance, when the affection became something you could walk away from, and when i became someone you could leave behind.
i don't know if you ever looked back. i don't know if certain places still remind you of me, or if you pass by them without even remembering that we once existed there.
but i do.
the places remain. the memories remain. the streets we walked, the libraries where we talked, the little routines we unknowingly made ours. everything is still there, except the person i used to share them with.. and i hope that, somewhere in the back of your mind, you remember me with the same tenderness with which i remember you.
sa mga salitang bibitawan ko sa susunod, eventually, you'll know it's me.
286. CHK. HalfMoon. Mahal na mahal. BigBen. MRT Guadalupe.
you'll know.
and if we ever find ourselves walking the same streets of up diliman again, i hope the rain falls just as it did when we were still us. maybe this time, i'll finally know how to walk past you without wishing you'd reach for my hand..
mahal na mahal kita, inhinyero ko.
– isang e-skolar ng bayan na aaraw-arawin ang pagpunta ng campus makasama ka lang sa mga vacants mo..
Submitted: November 8, 2026 2:45:24 PM UTC
發表於: Nov. 10, 2026, 2:13 a.m.