ADMU Freedom Wall
#ADMUFreedomWall31699
Things I wanted to say after finishing
my first semester in a new country as a foreigner
During our last class, my professor said,
“I also learned a lot from you, even though you’re younger.”
I don’t know why, but that one line stayed with me.
Maybe that’s why I’m finally writing the things
I was too shy to say out loud this whole semester.
The start should be answering the question People kept asking me,
“Why did you come to this school?”
I always gave different answers—
to study again, to make friends, to learn the culture.
All true, but never the real reason.
The truth was something I didn’t want to admit because
I didn’t want to look weak.
My mother passed away, and I just wanted to escape the place where it happened.
I didn’t come here bravely—
I came here because staying where I was hurt too much.
It’s Ironic how I tried to run away from life
but ended up in a place where I had to rebuild one.
Thankfully, I was lucky. At least I had a friend who shared her school life stories with me,
and it helped me think about something else for a while.
But honestly?
There wasn't such a paradise waiting just because you ran away.
Studying in English for the first time was overwhelming.
There were days when I couldn’t understand a single sentence in class.
Being a foreigner wasn’t an excuse, also I never wanted to use it as one.
But even if I struggled academically,
I didn’t walk away from this semester empty-handed.
When the semester began,
I realized something on the very first day—
that maybe this place wouldn’t be as lonely as I feared.
During ORSEM, the friend who sat beside me talked to me first.
Just a simple “HI,”
but it calmed me down more than that person will ever know.
That moment became the first small crack
in the wall I built around myself.
I still think about it. I’m still grateful.
After that day, I tried to live differently—
talking to people first,
trying to joke around,
joining orgs, joining sports,
doing anything that looked interesting.
It wasn’t smooth or natural. I had aware about it.
Honestly, I probably looked awkward and insecure half the time.
But it was the best I could do with who I was.
And while I was trying so hard to adjust,
I found myself learning a lot from the people around me.
Especially my batchmates younger than me—were more mature,
more hardworking, more disciplined.
Watching all of you, I learned more than you think.
Yes, sometimes I was jealous. Because I thought we were different.
Sometimes frustrated at myself.
But I kept trying.
I used to be the type who never started conversations,
but this semester, there were moments
when I took the first step.
Small moments, but meaningful ones.
Then every weekend, when I went back
to the place where I used to live,
people told me,
“You look happier. You look better than before.”
That’s when I realized it:
change doesn’t hit all at once dramatically.
It comes quietly—slowly—one small choice at a time.
Now, I don’t want to pretend anymore.
I genuinely want to know the people I met here.
I want to get closer.
I want to build real friendships.
It took me almost the whole semester to reach that point,
but it’s only the first one. There’s still time.
So here’s what I was too embarrassed to say:
Maraming-maraming salamat po, Talaga
(Is this right?) Thank you so much, Truly
I was the only one who was worrying I’d be treated differently
just because I’m from another country.
But not once did I feel alone here.
And one more confession:
I really wanted to be a cool, funny unc this semester.
I hope I wasn’t a weird or bad memory
in what’s supposed to be
one of the most important years of your lives.
I’m writing this anonymously because
I’m not ready to say these things with my real name yet.
But someday, I hope I can make real friends here—
people I can trust, people I can talk to,
and people I can support
the same way they unknowingly supported me.
There were so many things I wanted to tell.
Also If my failures or experiences can help someone,
I’d be glad to share them someday.
As for the future…
I just want to be happy.
I don't want to regret anymore.
I want to be able to say, confidently,
that coming to this school wasn’t running away—
it was my choice. And it was a right choice
Thanks for every people I met here.
It was right
As my first Filipino friend said the most valuable thing in this school
was not other things It was literally people you meet in the school.
As this semester ends,
I hope every one of you had a good one.
Merry Christmas, happy holidays, and happy New Year.
See you all next semester
P.S.
To the professors and groupmates who had to deal
with the most confused student ever.
I’m so sorry, and thank you for being patient.
I will and have to do better next semester. Promise.
發表於: Dec. 5, 2025, 2 p.m.