JCommunity Freedom Wall
#JCommunityFreedomWall12176
since it's pride month, i guess i'll finally admit this somewhere
i have this "friend"
the kind of friend who braided my hair absent mindedly while we talked, who remembered tiny details about me months after i forgot saying them, who looked at me a little too long sometimes, who sat a little too close, who reached for my hand without thinking
and maybe delulu lang ako, but i always felt it
the way she loved me lived in the spaces between things. never spoken out loud, never named. basta, it was just there like a secret both of us were pretending not to notice
and i think she knew too
i think she knew every time i looked at her and had to look away first
I think neither of us ever said anything because we were both daughters of strict religious families or maybe because some feelings become easier to survive when they're left unspoken
for a while, it felt enough. it felt safe.
until one night we got drunk at a party and kissed. a few days later she tried to talk to me about it, and ofc i panicked. i was so terrified she was going to tell me it meant nothing, that she didn't want me the way i wanted her.
so before she could reject me, i rejected the moment itself. i told her that i didn't remember anything and that i blacked out and that it was just all a drunk mistake. i denied everything.
then two weeks later, surprise! she now has a boyfriend
just likeTHAT.
like someone had flipped a switch while i wasn't looking, and maybe that's the part i can't explain. because i want to be angry at her, i want to feel betrayed but every time i try, i remember that i was the one who pretended not to remember. the one who handed her an exit door and then stood there wondering why she left.
sometimes i wonder if she got tired of waiting for me to be brave.
sometimes i wonder if that kiss was the closest we'll ever get to telling each other the truth.
anyway.
happy pride month to all the girls who accidentally fell in love with their best friend and then spent the rest of the year acting like nothing happened!
please give me song recos, I'm going insane hahaha
Submitted: June 2, 2026 3:13:19 PM UTC
發表於: June 4, 2026, 1:52 a.m.