The Wall
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I respectfully have to do this kasi pinapangako ko na as part of my recovery from everything hinding-hindi na ako tatapak ulit sa Ansci.
The day I found out via our own gc (this is without an adviser for light-hearted and informal chats) certain officers had joked about it and I made a light-hearted joke as well until they eventually admitted that they're not joking. The first thing they're supposed to do that upcoming week was to meet the teacher that spearheaded the drive, return the clothes and proceed with the process necessary for their mistakes. May it be a record sa guidance or parents being called, we have yet to discuss that with that teacher. Since the mistake will trigger immense outbursts I haven't decided to tell it to the adviser without having a clear formal decision from the teacher in-charge of the drive that we were meeting the following week. The next thing I know, our adviser left a warning about him having to hear from someone else regarding the problem and I was confused since it was already decided that they're going to meet the teacher in-charge next week. Then it all happened, the posting, everything, me being told that my light-hearted joke that was supposed to be within our informal gc was contextualized into being the most morally irresponsible and corrupt person you could ever meet in front of thousands of eyes who already saw me as lagging behind from not being able to portray what someone who is in my position supposed to act, talk, understand, and do. The terror of a batchmate sending me that post and informing me that post ay ipinaalam sa adviser namin and I wasn't able to reach our adviser easily that night. Trying to come up with something or someone to ask for intervention, adult guidance, just someone who knows what I'm supposed to do as someone who's never really familiar of being the most confident, outspoken leader who knows the complexities of this type of politics.
What's the consequences that had happened? It's what you had expected: parents being called to school, many meetings in the principal and guidance office. At 17, how do you know what you're supposed to do and how strong will everyone expect you to be while also still continuing the incoming events you're supposed to plan, sitting still while an adult cries in front of you because it's your fault they will lose something or that a principal called them in the office. And how extremely scary it feels to admit that until this day.
All involved received warnings. The whole year continued but the hypercritical looks, gossips, the constant reminders that the reason everything happened is because you're not acting like what those who were in my shoes acted and thought as, it never ended, and not even if I'm long gone in that school. It sticks with you, making you doubt everything you do, even small reminders of that role will suddenly end up into crying in bathroom stalls even in college. Being scared of anyone who basically knew me from that school and eventually burning out and later figuring out that the indifference from the get go was neurodivergence. I thought that's enough to make it okay. I wished it was enough to make it okay but no amount of psychiatric sessions or diagnosis can easily erase everything in my memory. I'm still trying until this very moment.
I never wanted to speak in detail about what happened behind everything because to admit everything results to also mentioning that the consequences of an issue for the students is more in-depth and extremely damaging. It is embarassing to admit just how much everything impacted me and what I'm left to deal with right now. The reason I am speaking up now ay dahil I don't think it's unfair to continue to treat these issues, may it be the bullying right now or connecting the past issues like they're simply online drama para pag piyestahan. If someone needs na may managot then by all means fight for it no matter how embarassing it is to say something repeatedly. But I hope the students from this school also end up learning that each action done, especially to those who ended up being the receiving end of the gossips and noise, targetted sarcastic looks, it eats up someone alive. I wish for the recovery of students who are speaking up on their experiences.
發表於: Aug. 15, 2026, 9:54 a.m.