Jewbridge

#Jewbridge1646 JSoc members as Figures from Tanakh JL@R - Abraham. Some would say JSoc’s patriarch, and by the amount he talks about circumcision you would think he also did it at a much later stage in life TA@SJ - Isaac. We all hope an angel will intervene and that his beautiful spirit and smile won’t be sacrificed to a dreary cooperate law firm AB@C - Rebecca. Much like our second matriarch, she would have been with JF@Brum since she was 3 years old, only this time there’s no absurd age gap NL@J - Also Rebecca. She’s used to hanging around a whole bunch of thirsty camels, yet none of them can get a hump AB@J - Jacob. He’s got enough heart and plenty of charm that he could probably end up with both you AND your sister, just be wary of his rogue red-head relative (joking, we love you AH@D) AV@C - Joseph. A DREAMily handsome guy that makes all of his JSoc brethren jealous enough that they’d throw him in a pit and sell him into slavery. He doesn’t even need a technicolour coat GS@TH - Moses. Both were prone to running away to a far away land, only to eventually return to lead and save us all Neighbours@TL - Pharaoh. STOP HARDENING YOUR HEARTS AND ALLOW US TO GET OUR NEW FREAKING BUILDING BEFORE WE DECIDE TO KILL ALL OF YOUR FIRSTB… apologies, it’s all out of the system now 😇 😊 MS@SJ - Elijah. Shows up late for a cheeky l’chaim, only to mysteriously vanish from the building, never to be found again ZN@G - Goliath. Does this one really need explaining? (6”5 btw, also reads feminist literature) SP@TH - Solomon. Even though King David is more musical, all the fine Jsoc ladies wish he would serenade them with a Song of Songs RS@SS(?) - Esther. Depending on the language, the name means “hidden” or “beautiful”, and many would say she’s a hidden beauty of JSoc OL@SC - Judah Maccabee. As a vet, he’d also know how to cope with Greek war elephants, and is also fittingly the protagonist of Chanukkah, which is funny because we know he knows his way around a… “candle” YG@Chaplains - Samson. I mean, have you SEEN those payos 😍

#Jewbridge1645 JSOC ball announcements when?

#Jewbridge1644 Do you think when we meet on sidge our college puffers are like omg it's you from the heap on the jsoc floor

#Jewbridge1643 Jsoc Basement just asked me 'does my assbestos look big in this?' Hate to break it to you babe...

#Jewbridge1642 Jsoc members as parts of the body: Head - DD@SS & IH@Q - they’ve gone down in jsoc history. Shoulders - NL@J - carries the jewish community Knees - JK@SJ - loves the amidah Toes - YM@TH - can't stop looking at those shoes. Would pay for pics if I wasn't so stingy. Eyes - CF@TH - dark and beautiful Ears - SP@TH - you can hear his beautiful voice a mile away Tongue and elbow - TR@R and HM@H - both iconic but never touch Nose - QB@W - very Jewish, ‘nose’ everything about Jsoc Arms - TA@SJ and AB@C - they reach out and connect us to others Hands - OL@SC - no explanation needed. Keep em to yourself. Belly button - NB@H - whether you're in or out, we always need you Bum - GS@TH - had to deal with messy disasters 24/7 Foreskin - NW@C - there on day 1 and suddenly never seen again. Doesn't feel the same. Sorely missed. Nipples - NZ@T & ZR@SC - great duo just wish they were the same size:(

#Jewbridge1641 Anyways… congrats to GL@T, EF@GC, YF@SJ and NK@S! Who’s next???

#Jewbridge1640 Hanukkah is really showing me up. Eight days? I can barely last 30 seconds.

#Jewbridge1639 New canteenies bringing back the culinary golden age of Michaelmas 2024

#Jewbridge1638 A rare sighting of anomaly SCP-3TL

#Jewbridge1637 How do we make Shiloh@Chaplaincy the welfare officer? He improves most people mental health.